Throughout the past few weeks, I’ve started to settle in to the beautiful state of life that is motherhood. I’ve begun to really enjoy the smiles, the hugs, kisses, and cuddle opportunities, the developmental changes, the silliness, and even the craziness. I’ve begun to absolutely love having twins.

Being thankful is something that I try to do every day of the year. However, I’m not perfect, and I will occasionally feel sorry for myself when I shouldn’t. Usually, when I’m in the midst of my pity party, something or someone is thrust into my life to wake me up.

This week, after losing the battle against yet another cold (2nd one in 3 weeks), I coughed and sneezed my way to the grocery store to pick up food for our Thanksgiving dinner. I was moving quickly, as I was hoping to make it home in time to help my husband and in-laws with the next feeding. An elderly woman in a motorized wheelchair was in my way while I tried to reach for some potatoes. I ducked around her and went to another aisle to get the next thing on my list, but she came zipping around the corner and stopped her wheelchair right in front of the mushrooms that I needed. An alarm bell went off in my head as I realized that I was getting annoyed at an old woman in a wheelchair during the week of Thanksgiving. I told myself to settle down. She realized she was in my way and started to apologize and try to move her wheelchair. I looked closely at her and saw that she had an oxygen tube in her nose. I looked at her eyes and saw loneliness. I felt truly ashamed of myself. So, I began to chat with her.

She told me about her four daughters, now grown, and about the 8 beautiful grandchildren that she has. She told me about her husband who had been a good man and a good husband, now long dead. She talked about her sons-in law, her previous home in Arizona, and about how she had just moved to Texas because of her health. She shared some family memories with me that made me smile. I shared with her that I had just had twins. She wanted to see pictures, so I pulled out a book of them and we spent a couple of minutes looking at it. For the first few minutes, my mind was racing with tasks that I needed to do and I was not really listening. But, I soon realized that this woman needed my time and I decided that it was the right thing to do to stay there and give my time for as long as she needed it. I ended up spending about 20 minutes with her right there in front of the mushrooms. I can honestly say that I enjoyed it after I began to relax and really listen to her. She was funny and she made me really laugh. At the end of the conversation, she told me that she envies me because I have the beautiful road of motherhood in front me, most of it yet to play out. And then she said thank you for taking the time to stop and visit with her. She left, eyes brighter, and with a smile on her face, as did I.

I walked away from this encounter actually feeling changed by it. It felt good that I had made her feel a little bit better, but I also felt sad. We all want to live the kind of life that she has lived. We all want to have a beautiful family and live a long and happy life. But, this inevitably means that we will one day be old and alone in a wheelchair in the grocery store around the holidays, missing our husbands and children and grandchildren. She was right to tell me to enjoy the blessings of motherhood and to take the challenges in stride. I was right to listen and take what she said to heart. But, I could do a lot better job of slowing down, of being kind, being patient, and reaching out to help someone who is sad and in need of just a little of my time and a little kindness. I could do a better job of listening, both to strangers and to my loved ones.  I could do a better job of paying attention to not just myself, my needs, and my family’s needs, but the needs of complete strangers, in whose shoes I will one day be in, if I’m lucky.

So, I will try harder.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.