For years, I have usually been unwilling to participate in or attempt any sort of crafty activity like sewing, knitting, painting, cross-stitching, scrapbooking, jewelry making, etc.  I’ve told myself that I’m no good at these things, and when I’ve been asked to do them with others, I’ve declined, saying I don’t like to do those types of things.  This was the truth.  However, recently, I learned something about myself.

I attended a womens’ social event put on by our church Bible study class, and at that event, we made Christmas cards together.  We made three cards using cardstock, stamps, ribbons, bows, glue, sparkly things, pearly things, and thread.  And you know what?  I really enjoyed myself.  I relaxed and had fun worrying over where to glue and when to stamp, and then getting a little out of control with too much stamping.  After that night, I decided that maybe someday, a long way in the future, when I had more time, that maybe, JUST MAYBE I would make my own Christmas cards.  And then, the more I thought about it, I realized that for many years, I’ve been holding myself back from all sorts of these things because I didn’t think that I was capable of any of them.  When I realized this, it struck me as the silliest thing on earth.  Of course I’m capable, at least of trying.  I may screw it up, it may look terrible, but I should try.  So, with that, I ordered a Christmas card making kit and I made 20 of my own Christmas cards.  Each card was different and I was proud of every single one of them.

I realized that it’s not really a big deal to make your own Christmas cards.  And, maybe one of these days, I’ll get my mother-in-law to teach me how to crochet.  Maybe I’ll try scrapbooking.  It doesn’t really matter what I do.  But I want my daughter to see her mother trying things.  Maybe not doing it perfectly, but trying anyway.

My daughter will see a mother who gets up every day and marches defiantly out into the man’s world that is engineering and business.  My daughter will see a mother who is the breadwinner of the family and who has worked hard to prove herself and make her way in a very technical field in order to support her family.  Being an engineer does not come naturally to me, and I’ve had to work incredibly hard at figuring it out.  My daughter will see a mother who truly believes that any of us can do anything we want with our lives, given that we are willing to set the right goals and put in the work and commitment to achieve them.

So, why am I afraid of a little cross-stitching?  Because I am not good at it?  Who cares?  I want my daughter to grow up to be a strong confident woman who laughs at how bad her mom’s cooking was or how her mother sent out these ridiculous handmade Christmas cards every year.  Maybe the end result won’t be perfect, but my effort will be meaningful in her life.

So, if you got one of my Christmas cards, feel free to laugh at it.  I don’t mind.  I’m still proud of trying and completing them and I look forward to making more with my daughter when she is old enough.

Merry Christmas!