Today the twins are six weeks old.  I spent some time today reflecting on the past six weeks, how much Andrew and Audrey have changed, and how much we’ve learned together as a family.  One of the most touching things about this time in our lives has been the incredible love, support, and true kindness that we’ve received from our family, our friends, our church, and our community.  I have been blown away by the amount of care that we’ve been blessed to receive.

In the days immediately following the birth, we received many visitors at the hospital.  Members of our church came to pray with us, our family and closest friends came to meet the twins and to assist me in getting around after surgery.  When I went back to the hospital with an infection 10 days later, our dear friends pampered Dave with home cooked meals, cleaned our house, and stocked our cabinets and freezer with food.

My mom arrived two weeks after the birth and she was able to stay with us for about 3 weeks.  She was an incredible help with baby care and with knocking out a lot of the tasks that I was unable to do during pregnancy.  She scrubbed our shower, weeded our flower beds, cleaned out our refrigerator, scrubbed the floors, and organized our closets and cabinets, did the laundry, dishes, etc.  She also helped with almost all of the twins’ feedings and diaper changes, except for during the middle of the night.  Because of her help, Dave was able to teach during the first week of school, which was a goal of ours.   My dad was also visiting for the last week or so of her stay.  He decided that diaper changes were not his thing, but he was very helpful with running errands, holding and comforting crying babies, and preparing meals.   My parents had an adorable porcelain plate customized for the birth of the twins and my dad brought it when he arrived.  It shows their names and birth weights and is now proudly on display in our nursery.

Porcelain plate that my parents customized for Andrew and Audrey

Dave’s parents arrived a day after my parents left and are with us for a week.  Their help has also been wonderful, as they assist with feedings and diaper changes as well.  Dave’s father has been knocking himself out with all kinds of outdoor help such as weeding, trimming, repairing gates, and installing a diaper sprayer for us.  It would have taken us months to get these things done on our own due to lack of time.  Dave’s mother provided us with two handmade blankets that she spent a few months making for the twins.  Although I’m not very artsy-craftsy myself, I truly appreciate handmade gifts, and these blankets are beautiful.

Beautiful blankets made by Dave’s mother

Our church has been absolutely wonderful.  In addition to throwing us a shower and praying for us before and during the birth, and visiting us afterwards in the hospital, they provided 6 WEEKS of meals to us 3 times a week so that we did not have to think about cooking.  When I say meals, I do not mean simply a casserole.  They provided bread, salad, casseroles, fruit, dessert, and sometimes even breakfast for the next day!  It was beyond wonderful.

Our friends have also delivered meals on the days that the church did not.  They have showered us with clothes, books, handmade toys, food, and have made a point to check on us every couple of days to see if they can pick up anything for us at the store, or just come over and sit so that we can take a shower or a nap.

Toys crocheted by our niece for Andrew and Audrey

We have received well wishes and gifts from all over the country, from our more distant relatives, friends of our parents, and coworkers from my company’s St. Louis office location.   Much of it has been unexpected and so touching.

I know that having a baby is a life-changing event, but I truly did not expect such an outpouring of love from all facets of our life.  I don’t even know how to adequately express thanks, except to say that we are amazed and so appreciative of each and every bit of it.

Thank you, all!

We get all kinds of interesting questions and comments from others related to having twins.  One of the most common questions we get is “how are your pets handling having two babies in the house?”

To give some background, Dave and I have 2 dogs, Abby and Trinity, and 2 cats, Vince and Lilac.  Abby is a large golden retriever and Trinity is a small mixed breed dog from the pound.  Vince is a gray Persian cat that I rescued as a stray, and Lilac is a black and white tuxedo kitty that was adopted from the pound.  We are big animal lovers and our pets are very important to us.  We interact with them constantly throughout the day and consider them an important, fun, and loving part of the family.

Abby loves mud baths!

Trinity – couch potato

Lilac – Tuxedo cat

Vince, the spoiled rotten Persian

When we first brought the babies home from the hospital, we set the car seats down on the floor and let the dogs go ahead and get a whiff of those little creatures that were invading their peaceful home.  They took a good long sniff, looked up at Dave and I with confusion, and wagged their tails.  The cats were also invited to this introduction, but hung back with purposeful indifference, as only a cat can.

In the days to follow, we have had many amusing and touching moments with the pets and babies.  On our second night at home, at about 3 AM, Andrew broke out into an ear-piercing shriek for the first time.  Abby began to bark at him in her full 85 pound dog loud voice as if she wanted to join in on the noisemaking.  Another time, she abandoned a full bowl of food to go check on Audrey when she was alone in a room and crying.  The look of concern on Abby’s face as she peered in at Audrey was sweet.

Abby checking on Audrey

Trinity and Lilac have taken the approach of ignoring the babies.  They go about their daily lives the same as always.  I believe that in Trinity’s case this will change when the babies begin throwing food on the floor!

Vince, who is perhaps the most adored and spoiled pet, has had quite an adjustment period.  He is a very laid back and friendly cat who takes to lounging about the house twisted on his back with his legs spread open.  He is very affectionate and loves attention.  In the first day or two home from the hospital, we did not do a good job of giving Vince our undivided attention.

While I was in the hospital, we received two absolutely gorgeous bouquets of flowers from my company.  We brought them home from the hospital and put them on display on our bar that is at the center of our house.  They were huge multicolored bouquets in beautiful glass vases.  Vince has always loved to snack on plants, but he is usually pretty good about leaving flowers alone.  On our first night at home alone with the babies, we were up in the middle of the night, each feeding a baby.  Vince, wanting some attention, climbed onto the bar, took a bite out of the flowers, and knocked the glass vase off the bar onto the tile floor, shattering it.  The glass flew all over the house and the water and flowers were everywhere.  The crash was unbelievable!  We finished up feeding the children and then spent the next hour cleaning up the glass, water, and flowers.  While this sounds like it should have been stressful, the only thing I remember thinking about was whether Vince was traumatized or had glass in his feet.  We cleaned up the mess, I found my cat and gave him a hug, and we went back to bed.  Now he is much happier and has adjusted to life with the babies.  We laugh about his late night snack!

This past week we have had my parents’ border collie, Daisy, visiting us as well.  It has been a lot of fun having her around, as she and Abby take turns chasing toys in the swimming pool for exercise.

Abby’s crazy cousin Daisy

This past week has been a very exciting week in the life of the twins. My dad arrived on Monday afternoon and got to meet the twins for the first time. He was very excited to meet them! Here are some pictures:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9665757607/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9668999308/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9669000132/

Then, on Tuesday, we celebrated their 4 week old birthday with a photo snapping session that required us to do multiple baby handoffs between the four of us, which is quite challenging when trying to capture awake and alert moments, support two little necks, as well as corral 3 dogs and 2 cats, catch just the right lighting, and look like you are having a good time doing it! Here are a few of those pictures:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9669046662/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9668980286/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9665761879/

Mom and I took an afternoon off this week and went to get pedicures:

We were so relaxed afterwards that we wandered about in a daze for the rest of the afternoon. It was very nice!

Both twins are beginning to spend a lot more time awake and alert, which is fun. We are eagerly looking forward to next week.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9669933992/

When Dave and I found out we were having twins, we began researching how exactly you manage caring for twins, while still finding time for adequate amounts of sleep for yourselves here and there. The methods that made the most sense to us involved putting both twins on the same sleeping/waking/feeding schedule and keeping it that way. Sounds easy, right? Actually, it’s not hard. We met with our pediatrician a couple of months before the birth and discussed our scheduling ideas with her. She was very supportive and gave us some tips as well. Our schedule consists of a 3-hour feeding/sleeping cycle where we wake the twins up to eat every 3 hours round the clock. Our current schedule means feeding each of them at 5AM, 8AM, 11AM, 2PM, 5PM, 8PM, 11PM, and 2AM. After they eat, they have a diaper change, some awake time, and then back to sleep until the next feeding. All of the activities take an hour or so to complete, leaving 2 hours of time to clean up and prepare for the next cycle, as well as take care of personal activities such as sleeping, showering, eating, laundry, dishes, etc. One person can manage each cycle on their own, but it is much more efficient and more fun to have two people do each cycle together. This way each baby gets more personal attention and bonding time.  Following this schedule, our home is mostly peaceful and non-chaotic, and we are able to plan our days easily.

Once we had decided on a schedule that would work for us, we then purchased or were given almost all of the equipment we would need for support. We did remarkably well with selecting baby gear, considering that we had no idea what we were doing. We use almost everything we were given or bought. One area where we knew we were unprepared was feeding equipment. However, without knowing the birth status of the babies, we couldn’t really do anything about it. We were not sure if we would have tiny babies with feeding issues, so we could not buy a lot of feeding related items up front such as specific bottles or formula. We ended up buying a few bottles to get us by, while deciding to wait until after the birth to buy the rest.

Shortly after coming home from the hospital, Dave realized that we would need a system of bottles and a plan for washing them. He got to work doing research and calculations to determine what was needed in a 24 hour period to avoid spending all of our time washing, as washing cuts into our precious sleeping time. He figured out exactly what was needed, went and bought it, and set up a great system that is working wonderfully. We are very organized, methodical, and clean, while not spending a lot of time working on it.

My mom arrived on Tuesday evening of last week. She is staying with me for almost 3 weeks to get to know Audrey and Andrew and to help out with both the twins and the chores around the house. When she arrived on Tuesday night, I picked her up at the airport. Her flight was about 15 minutes late, so I sat in the baggage claim area of the airport and happily watched people coming and going around me. My mom soon arrived, we gathered her bags, and I spent the thirty-minute drive home telling her about our daily schedule. My mom is a person who very much enjoys a routine, so I knew she would fit right in to the system within a day or two. It has been so much fun watching her bond with her two new grandchildren. We have spent a lot of time together sitting in the nursery, each of us feeding an infant, and laughing over the multitude of sounds coming from both ends of them. This week we have been blessed with more alert babies who spend time checking out our faces after eating their many meals. My mom has been an incredibly helpful addition to the household while Dave is back at work this week.

As for Audrey and Andrew, they had another great week of growth and development. They went to the pediatrician on Wednesday and we learned that they are doing really well with their growth. Audrey had gained a pound in a week to tip the scales at 5 pounds, 13 ounces. Andrew was 7 pounds, 4 ounces. Both are happy, healthy, cute babies. Our doctor told me to keep right on doing whatever it is that we are doing at home because we are doing it exactly right. We got the ok from the pediatrician to begin taking them for walks in our new jogging stroller, which is a very exciting development indeed! We have been dying to use that new stroller for months!

Andrew managed to have both diaper rash and a growth spurt this week, which kept us all awake for most of the night on both Friday night and Saturday night as he took to exercising his right to high pitched shrieking to express his dissatisfaction with the situation at hand. We seem to have gotten it back under control, as we all managed a good 6 hours of sleep last night, with him sleeping peacefully in between feedings.

Also, for a quick update on Dave and me…Dave began his first school week of teaching this week after being off all summer. He will teach his physics classes all week and then will be on vacation for about 3 weeks to help out at home. As for me, I am doing really well. I’ve lost 40 pounds in the past 3 weeks and I feel great! I am very anxious to get the all clear to start exercising again. I absolutely cannot wait! I’ve begun taking short walks around the neighborhood with my dog on most days, which feels wonderful. I’m also managing to find small amounts of time during the day to drink coffee and read the newspaper, shower, read books, take naps, and enjoy snuggle time with my babies and pets. Time definitely has to be managed right now, but it is filled with so many enjoyable moments!

Here are some pictures of my mom with the twins, Andrew’s new alertness, Audrey’s freakishly long fingers, and Audrey sleeping peacefully.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9596360832/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9599188199/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9590800829/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thedaveparticle/9599192969/

We made it through a second week with Andrew and Audrey and all four of us lived to tell/scream about it, although the second week was not as smooth as we had hoped.

We started out the week with some visits from friends coming to meet the twins. One of these friends threw us a really fun couples’ shower in June. One of the activities at the shower was for the guests to dress up with fun props. They were given chalkboards to write their advice to us as parents and were photographed with their chalkboards. The shower host then made a really neat collage of all the pictures of our friends with their advice and put it in a frame. She brought it over to our house when they came to meet the twins. One of my favorite pieces of advice was “there is always time to cuddle.” This is great advice and something I am actually trying to take to heart, as I tend to be obsessive about getting things done instead of sitting and relaxing. Therefore, this week we instituted family cuddle time. This is where we all four spend time on the couch, watching TV or reading a book, holding babies, and just enjoying each other’s company. I love it. It is the highlight of the week.

We had the babies’ first pediatrician appointment also last week. This appointment went really well and we learned we are doing things the way we are supposed to be doing things, which is nice to hear when you are a new parent. We both really like the pediatrician we selected and are looking forward to working with her.

On Thursday of last week, Dave went back to work, and so I spent Thursday and Friday alone with the twins during the day. Both days went smoothly and I managed to keep up with the laundry, bottle washing, feeding, etc with no trouble. The activity felt good after being so physically limited towards the end of my pregnancy.

However, on Friday afternoon, after several days of feeling great and having no pain, I started to notice that I was having trouble getting up and down from the chair and was feeling some cramping. I didn’t think too much of it and just assumed that my body was still working on healing. A couple of hours later, I noticed I was fairly cold and I got under the covers in bed to try to warm up. About 2 hours of shivering later, I decided that perhaps I should take my temperature, and I discovered that it was 101F. I can’t remember the last time I had a fever, but it’s been probably 20 years or so. So, of course, this was beginning to be alarming. I called my doctor’s office. The on-call doctor returned my call right away and told me to head to the hospital where she would meet me. I proceeded to spend the next 3 nights in the hospital with an infection.

Dave deserves some kind of awesome Super Dad award, as he managed at home by himself with 10-day-old twins for 3 full nights! We have known all along that the time will come when I will go back to traveling for work and he will be home alone with the babies. We were NOT expecting it to happen 10 days in!

I am, thankfully, back home from the hospital and feeling great again. I was able to get some rest and come home to hit the ground running so that Dave can get prepared to start his school year.

Today starts week 3 with the twins and I’m very excited about it, as my mom arrives tonight. She will be meeting the twins for the first time and I can’t wait!

All in all, it’s been another great week. I’m looking forward to the next one!

Our first week with our new babies draws to an end tonight. Wow, what an amazing week of love, learning, patience, and wonder.

Our week started off with the birth of Audrey and Andrew via Cesarean section on Tuesday, Aug 6. Although a vaginal delivery was an option for us, I chose to proceed with the C section for a number of different reasons. While I had not, obviously, had a C section before, I have had abdominal surgery in the past and was familiar with what the recovery would be like. However, when we checked into the hospital on the day of the birth, I was almost overwhelmed with anxiety. Anxiety is something I hardly ever experience, as I do not typically worry about things a whole lot and I usually can handle a fairly significant amount of stress pretty well. I tried and tried to calm down and to talk myself through everything I knew about the procedure (which was quite a lot). But none of it worked. When the nurses came to get me to walk into the operating room, I felt true terror that I don’t remember ever feeling in my life. I can’t explain it. I absolutely couldn’t wait to meet the twins and learn their genders. I knew that everything would turn out fine. But I was completely overwhelmed with anxiety. I was shaking so hard and had such a large belly that they had a very hard time placing the spinal, which, of course, brought on even more anxiety. Finally it all worked and they brought Dave in to sit with me. Aside from my anxiety, the tone in the operating room was a lot of fun. There were about 20 people in the room and all were VERY excited about delivering twins with surprise genders. It was a festive and fun atmosphere that I wish I had been relaxed enough to enjoy.

Andrew David at 6 lb, 12 oz, was delivered at 2:08 PM, about 2 or 3 minutes after the surgery started. When they pulled him out, they all exclaimed over how big he was and then announced that they had just delivered a big baby BOY! My doctor held him over the curtain for me to see for a few seconds. He had a shock of black hair sticking up all over the place, which I thought was funny. Then they took him away for testing and cleanup and 1 minute later, at 2:09 PM, Audrey Elizabeth at 5 lb, 1 oz was delivered with a scream to pierce the eardrums. My doctor announced that she had delivered a little GIRL and my response was, “YES!!” Audrey did not stop SCREAMING at the top of her lungs for several minutes after that, which amused all of us.

Unfortunately, about this time, I started to go downhill and got quite shaky and sick. They gave me several medications to stop the shakes and vomiting, which caused my blood pressure to drop pretty low. I was sick for the next few hours and don’t remember much of it. Finally I started to feel better and they took me to a regular room in the hospital. The babies were brought to us and stayed with us right in the hospital room until the day we left the hospital.

The rest of the hospital stay, which totaled 3 days, is a bit of a blur to me. When I first looked at Andrew and Audrey in the operating room, I cannot say that I felt the overwhelming love that many people describe when they first see their child. I did feel relieved and happy that they were healthy and safe. Over the next several days after their birth, however, I began to bond with them and to absolutely love them both. I feel amazed by how much I truly enjoy being with them, even when they are screaming, shooting me with flying poo and vomit, and sometimes doing all of it at once. Their birth truly has been a thing of unexpected beauty. I feel honored and blessed to have been given this opportunity to be a parent to both of them. I have watched with a sense of amazement this past week at all the things that they’ve learned how to do already and that I’ve learned as well. I’ve learned about some giant well of patience that I did not know existed within me. And all of it has been a lot of fun.

I have been told repeatedly that I will have my hands full, that life will be crazy, etc. And, maybe in time it will. But since we’ve come home from the hospital, I’ve felt at peace and relaxed. Dave has been with me pretty much every minute through all of it and we’ve had some funny moments that we are already laughing at. We’ve had a really good time getting to know our children’s oddities, like Andrew who sneezes twice and then shouts afterwards, and Audrey, who has many great facial expressions and wrinkles her forehead and smiles craftily at you as she poops. She is turning out to be a feisty girl and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

If I had that much fun last week, I can’t wait to see what this week holds. Here are a couple of pictures of Andrew and Audrey from this week.

Andrew – left
Audrey – right

Dave, Mandy, Andrew, Audrey leaving the hospital to go home for the first time

When you are obviously pregnant and are out in public, people cannot resist asking you questions, telling birth stories, and providing unsolicited parenting advice. Most of this I find highly amusing. Here are some of the good ones:

1. Is your baby jumping in your belly when the airplane takes off?
I travel a lot for my job, so I find myself interacting with complete strangers in public quite a bit. This particular person proceeded to tell me about how her baby actually used its legs to JUMP inside her during takeoff because it was quite angry about flying and wanted to jump out. She was dead serious. My response was “wow…that’s incredible.” Because really, it is.

2. Do they actually rent cars to pregnant people?
You know, I never actually checked the terms and conditions of that rental agreement. Hmm.

3. Are you going to the prom pregnant like that?
I think this person was trying to make a joke because I look young. But I’m really not sure. I told him that no, I was probably going to skip it because the dress I wanted to wear is too tight now.

4. Will your twins be the same age?
I patiently answer yes and secretly wonder what exactly these people think twins actually are?

5. You are having girls because you are carrying them in the front of your body.
As opposed to the side of my body?

6. Will you use your nipples to breastfeed?
Um….well, that seems like the best idea I’ve come up with so far. Any other suggestions?

7. Are your twins natural?
No, they are SUPER natural!
Honestly, this question I find more shockingly rude than amusing. I think that because we are having twins, these people are trying to ask whether we’ve undergone fertility treatment. My answer usually is that I’m not comfortable discussing my sex life and the conception details of my children. Then I have to wait it out through the awkward pause that inevitably follows.

8. When is your due date? Today?
I’ve been getting this one lately since my belly is so big. I think these people are really fearful that I’m about to give birth in their store, restaurant, or gas station. It is kind of fun to give them a date several months away.

And, a quick update for those who want it:  the birth is scheduled for 37 weeks, on Aug 6, if it doesn’t happen on its own before that.  We do not know yet whether it will be a regular delivery or cesarean delivery.  We do not know the genders of the twins or whether they are fraternal or identical.  We also do not have names picked out and will be waiting until after the birth to name them.  We might have Kate and Will beat for being shrouded in birth mystery!