The major street near our neighborhood has been in the process of being repaired for some time now. The repairs involved some pretty major road destruction and then reconstruction. In order to do this, traffic has been rerouted to the other side of the street, turning a 4 lane road into a 2 lane road. As you can imagine, traffic has a tendency to back up during the busy times of the day. A couple of days ago, as I was driving through the construction zone, I noticed a sign that read “Thumbs Up for Progress!” and it proceeded to list the total cost of the project ($5,135,672), the number of jobs that the project had created (50), and an estimate of the progress on the project so far (75% complete). Because I don’t often drive in that direction on that road, I had not noticed the sign before, and I decided that it was a great idea. Construction zones tend to create a fair amount of annoyance to everyone who has to live near them or drive through them. We typically spend so much time thinking about how the construction zone is creating an inconvenience in our own lives that we forget that these projects are good for the economy and good for the neighborhood after the work gets completed. The road will be smooth, less likely to flood, and will look better overall.
I decided that given our current situation of dealing with reflux, weight gain, two sick kids and two sick parents with full time jobs, that we needed our own Thumbs Up for Progress analysis to think about. So, here goes…
1. Audrey and Andrew are both happy and calm babies most of the time.
2. Audrey and Andrew have both doubled their birth weights of 7 lbs and 5 lbs by around 3 months of age. They are now 14 lbs and 10 lbs. Andrew is a regular porker, like his momma!
3. Andrew sleeps 8-10 hours at night. Audrey sleeps about 5 hours at night. She would sleep longer, but we make her wake up to eat. Makes me look forward to the teenage years.
4. Our daycare is fantastic. They love our kids. They all have so much experience at working with babies that I have learned valuable knowledge from them.
5. Audrey still vomits almost every day, but she now seems to be able to lie on her back and feel comfortable most of the time. This is a great thing and is definitely progress!
6. Dave and I are now absolute rock stars at changing diapers and cleaning up messes. Between four pets and two infants, someone is always puking, pooping, or blowing other fluids out of themselves.
7. Audrey is stubborn as all get out. Wonder where she gets that?
8. Andrew is close to rolling over.
9. They seem to enjoy “talking” to us and to each other.
10. They enjoy each other’s presence and become calmer when the other is near.
11. They both have great smiles that make your day. I love to see them first thing in the morning!
12. We have learned how to manage a schedule of caring for twins and each working full time jobs. We do need help from time to time, particularly when I travel. We are very tired, but so far we maintain sanity. Well, at least as much as we always have.
13. We are almost 1/3 of the way through the first year already!
14. We’ve both learned how to push a double stroller holding 2 kids with one hand and drag a shopping cart behind.
15. We are experts at swaddle, shake, swing, sway, shush, standing sway, standing swaddle sway, standing swaddle sway shake, and standing swaddle sway shake shush, all of which are sometimes required to feed Audrey.
Two thumbs up for progress!

This post is about the moment when I reached my stress limit at exactly 8:35AM on Tuesday Oct 29. I was sitting in the parking lot after dropping the kids off at day care. I was pondering the appointment we had had the day before with a GI specialist for Audrey. They had prescribed some new medication, which had to be given 4 times a day, as well as another formula change to a formula that is only available at a couple of stores in town and is very expensive. As I pulled my car out of the parking lot, I began to think about the trip I was to take for work the next day. I planned to meet with a customer to discuss a contract of importance. I was looking forward to the trip, as it would be my first trip after returning from maternity leave and I really wanted it to go smoothly. I also began to mentally prepare for a meeting I had scheduled for that morning with two of my new coworkers. I was to meet them for the first time at a local Starbucks. I had just enough time to get home and make myself presentable for the meeting.

The phone rang and I saw that it was our pediatrician calling. She reported that the results of Audrey’s blood work from the day before had come back badly again and that Audrey was dehydrated. She would need to go back to the hospital. This time, we could not go to the hospital near our house. She wanted us to check her into the hospital located across town through some horrendous traffic so that she could be near the GI specialists for daily consultations. I asked when we needed to have her there and was told to take her in that day. I had planned a half a day of vacation for that afternoon in order to attend a costume parade at the twins’ day care. They were going as Thing 1 and Thing 2. I became immediately sad thinking of Andrew, alone in the parade, dressed as Thing 1. I had no idea how we were going to be able to manage another hospitalization across town and my mind began to spin. Just as I was beginning to give myself a pep talk on keeping it together, my phone dinged with a new work email. I opened the email to discover that I had been selected that day for a random drug test. I was to go home, wait for an envelope to arrive via Fedex, go find a drug-testing center near my home, and give a sample. It was to be done by the end of the day.

I realized I was going to have to be 3 places at once…a work meeting, a drug test, and the hospital. The parade, the work trip, the vacation day would all have to be cancelled. By this point, I wouldn’t even get to take a shower before meeting my new coworkers. I looked exhausted and probably smelled bad. I thought about crying. I hung my head and closed my eyes. And, as I opened them, I began to focus on something on my shirt. What was it? A GIANT booger surrounded by a gob of snot. It was pretty awesome in it’s disgustingness. I had been walking around all morning wearing it. There was nothing I could do but laugh. I laughed so hard that I cried, and then I picked up the phone and called my mom to ask her to come and help us. She started looking at plane tickets. Somehow we would make it through.

I went home, changed out of the snot shirt, and got cleaned up as best I could. I went to the work meeting, drank a gallon of coffee, and talked a mile a minute. I cancelled the work trip. I called and got an extension on the drug test, and then stopped at the day care to get a status on Audrey. I learned that she was eating fairly well. Yes! I called the doctor and relayed this info to her. She decided to let us stay home as long as she was eating somewhat ok. We would watch her very closely. Yes!! That meant that Thing 1 and Thing 2 could be together for their afternoon parade, which gave me a really silly sense of happiness. It was so much fun.

My mom was arriving the next day, and I began to look forward to her visit with excitement. She is always such a huge help to us and I couldn’t wait for her to see the kids. When I went to pick her up at the airport, she immediately announced that she had brought some cloths with her to give to me because they were great to clean with. She is the only person I know who brings her own cleaning supplies when she comes to visit! Joking aside, she stayed with us for the rest of that week and all of this week and was a huge help with the babies and the cleaning and laundry. It was truly great to see her. It is so wonderful to know that when we really need help, we have supportive parents who are able to be there for us. My mom took advantage of her time here not only to love her grandchildren, but to also stock up on my dad’s favorite brand of hot dog chili, which is apparently not available in Florida. She took 5 cans home in her suitcase!

Audrey is now doing pretty well. It turns out that she had a cold, which was contributing to her feeding issues. Andrew has since contracted the cold, as have Dave and I. Andrew also has contracted bronchiolitis and has lost his appetite. He is now eating less than Audrey! He is also vomiting quite a bit. Hopefully this is all just due to his congestion and breathing troubles. When it rains, it pours!

I’ve had the opportunity to become an expert on vomit in the past few months. Now, I’m becoming an expert on snot. In the past week, I’ve learned the art of the suction bulb, and also gotten past my initial disgust at the concept of the Nose Frida. If you are unfamiliar with the Nose Frida, it is basically a straw with a filter on it. You use your mouth to suck on the end of the straw and suck the snot right out of your kid’s head. There is no way that the snot can actually get in your mouth, but the idea of it is so weird! It truly does work though, and I love a product that works!

This wild life with twins gets crazier by the minute, but I wouldn’t change any of it!

Most people seem to think that you gain an arsenal of funny stories involving various bodily fluids around the time you give birth, accumulating on through at least the first couple of years of your child’s life. Although childless until recently, I’ve been accumulating these stories for many years, as a result of parents who took me camping and backpacking with regularity throughout my childhood, combined with the fact that I live with several pets that we refer to as the “animal pack.”

I could share fantastically true tales such as a certain family member of mine, who, while on a deep woods backpacking trip in the mountains of West Virginia, chose to take his morning coffee and hike up the steep mountain to find a nicely sized stump to perch with his backside over the end to do his business. He got settled and was just beginning to enjoy the coffee and take in the crisp, sunny morning in the woods when the stump broke and he went careening down the mountain, somersault style, with his pants at his ankles. He stumbled back to the campsite, bleeding, with dirt, leaves, and coffee all over him. Thankfully, everyone in my family knows how to enjoy a good laugh at their own expense.

As of Sunday morning, I could also share the most fantastic of poop stories so far in our new experience of parenthood. On Friday night, with a most arrogant sense of command, I announced to my husband and twins that, on Saturday morning we would begin using cloth diapers on Andrew, by God! Saturday morning arrived and we pulled out the brand spanking new cloth diapers and snapped and velcroed our hearts out, exclaiming over the cuteness of the diapers. At each feeding to follow on Saturday afternoon, we took turns holding our breath with fear, while slowly unsnapping the diaper, expecting the worst mess. It never came. We uneventfully accumulated about five dirty diapers in the laundry pail before going back to disposables for the night. Having called Saturday a relative success, Sunday morning diapering came with all the cockiness of new parents 24 hours into trying something different and having it work out ok. Dave and I got up and got the kids started on feeding. Andrew finished first and wanted to lie in his crib and stare at his mobile. Dave was still working on feeding Audrey when we heard the most fantastic of farts bursting forth from Andrew’s crib. I was the unlucky empty-handed one, so I sidled toward his crib with trepidation. I was not wrong to be frightened. Poop was everywhere! It was on the crib sheet, the crib, and the kid. I picked him up to fix it, and it then proceeded to be on the carpet, the changing table, the diaper pail, my shirt, pants, his shirt, pants, legs, feet, and face. As I turned around to share a laugh with Dave over our child bred of apparent colonic exuberance, Audrey began vomiting all over him, the nursing pillow, her clothes, blanket, and chair. The twins, who must have been in cahoots, managed to ruin four outfits and create an entire load of laundry in ten seconds flat. We joke that we have not yet found a diaper that can contain Andrew’s colonic exuberance. It took us a good twenty minutes to change our clothes and theirs and clean up the mess. We went back to disposable diapers for the rest of the day.

For this round, it is twins 1, parents 0. Well played, twins, well played.

This week has been an incredibly challenging week for us.  Our daughter, Audrey, developed issues with reflux about 3 weeks after birth.  We have spent the past several weeks working with the doctor on different solutions such as medicine, feeding techniques and positioning, and feeding frequencies, as well as attending weekly doctors appointments to check her weight and well-being.  Things were mostly going well enough until her two month checkup on Monday.  Our pediatrician discovered that she had not gained any weight in the past week, so she ordered lab tests.  On Tuesday morning, she called me and requested that I check Audrey into the hospital to treat dehydration and work with a nutritionist and gastroenterologist team.  I took her straight to Texas Children’s Hospital, where she remains.

Audrey sleeping in her bed at the hospital

Audrey’s condition is known as “failure to thrive”.   As a new mother, it’s like taking a punch in the gut every time the doctors and nurses say it, which is fairly often.  While I know that Dave and I have done everything possible to help her thrive and have been working diligently with a medical team for many weeks to make sure she does, neither of us are used to hearing the word failure at anything we undertake.  Feeding your child is something that is so important and so basic that it feels terrible when it goes wrong.  In our case, Audrey is simply not interested in eating very much.  After eating a small amount, she purses her lips shut and she’s done.  I recognize that stubbornness and it would make me smile if it wasn’t so problematic.

My sweet friends continue to ask me almost every day how I am doing and how I am feeling.  The truth is, I’m doing fine.  Everything that is supposed to be getting done is getting done.  How I’m feeling is a question that I can’t answer because I don’t know.  I know that I feel anxious.  Beyond that, I’m not open to introspection right now because I can’t afford it.  There will be time later to process emotions and think about feelings.  That time is not right now, while we are in crisis mode.

Audrey, on the other hand, appears to be feeling great mentally!  She has taken it upon herself to win over every member of the medical staff at the hospital with a gigantic smile for each of them.  They come by to ask me if they can hold her because she’s so cute and smiley.  Sometimes she wiggles and coos for them too.  This week, she has undergone multiple catheter and IV insertions and blood draws, gross drinks, and people holding her down to check everything under the sun.  She endures with some tears, but always smiles about it afterwards.  It is a strange picture to see such a happy child in a hospital bed.  I’m so proud of her strength and amazed that she has shown it to us at only ten weeks old.

Audrey smiling in the hospital

While Audrey has recently struggled to grow, Andrew is growing like a big fat weed!  He is a very healthy, chubby kiddo who loves his food.  He is making some great strides this week in sleeping ten hours at night.  Also, his digestive system is quite impressive in it’s elimination of waste!  He has been visiting his sister in the hospital daily.  We are all looking forward to her coming home to go back to life as normal.

Andrew

I once again want to say thank you to our incredible support system of family, friends, and coworkers near and far, who have yet again quite impressively jumped through hoops to help with prayers, food, company, and love.  It is truly touching and we appreciate every bit of it.

One of the great things about living in Houston is that we have beautiful weather all year round.   However, our summers are intensely hot.  I grew up in western Pennsylvania, where winter was long, snowy, and cold.  On those first beautiful days of spring, everyone wanted to be outside, enjoying the great weather.  In Houston, this happens in the fall after a long, hot summer.  After 4-5 months of high heat and humidity, a cold front will come through, usually in October, and bring with it beautiful, crisp, clear days that bring everyone outdoors to enjoy.  This cold front came through on Sunday morning with rain showers.  By early afternoon, it had cleared up to about 80 degrees, dry and sunny.

The perfect weather made me excited to get outside to try out our new jogging stroller for the first time.  Dave strapped Audrey and Andrew into their seats and off we went through the neighborhood.  I planned to walk for about 15 minutes to see how they did, but it went so well that we ended up staying out for over an hour and walking about 2.5 miles.  They both seemed to really enjoy it, as did I, and we will do it again very soon now that we should have perfect weather for the next several months.  Also, I would like to try running with the stroller, as it is very smooth and easy to push. 

The highlight of my week last week was that both Andrew and Audrey started smiling at us.  Andrew has a slow, shy smile and it takes some coaxing to get him to show it to you.  Audrey has a big wide happy grin and shows it pretty freely.  It is so much fun to watch both of them developing side by side but doing it at their own individual paces and in their own ways.  Both of them are fairly easygoing and happy babies who are relaxed about most things we throw at them. 

This week I am looking forward to going back to work.  I have been so thankful for the opportunity to have paid time off to care for Audrey and Andrew and get them through the early infant stage with loving parents and grandparents around them.  However, now that they have smoothly transitioned to attending day care, I am mentally ready to get back to my job.   I look forward to putting my brain back to work on technical and commercial topics, and, when the time is right, to begin traveling again.  It will be a challenge to learn how to successfully balance a family and a career and it is a challenge that I look forward to undertaking, as both are important to me. 

Here are some pictures from this week:

Dave and Andrew catching some zzz’s

Starting to enjoy their activity mat

Andrew is thinking about smiling

Audrey showing a tiny little bit of smile

Have a great week!

Our first week alone got off to a wild start yesterday with Dave going back to work after being off on paternity leave for 3 weeks.  Along with that, I decided to start taking Audrey and Andrew to day care a couple of times this week for a few hours.  This will get them used to being there, and more importantly, get us used to the daily day care preparation routine.

Audrey woke us up at 3AM with a robust cry to let us know she was ready for some breakfast.  We fed both twins and finished up about 3:45AM.  Dave decided he would go back to bed until 5AM and then get up to prepare for his first day back to teaching.  This was a great plan, except that it didn’t work.  At 6:45 AM,  after oversleeping, we were awakened by both kids, who were starting to stir in anticipation of their next meal.  Dave leapt out of bed, realizing he had overslept and would barely make it to school in time.  He sprinted towards the bathroom to begin getting ready.  I leapt out of bed, hopping to put my pants on while simultaneously heading towards the kitchen to start heating up bottles for the kids.  By the time I hit the kitchen, both kids were screaming at full throttle, the dogs were barking, Dave was rooting around in the dresser frantically locating work clothing, and the cat was persistently requesting his breakfast.

It is moments like this were I am very thankful for modern appliances!  I kept my cool, and in under 5 minutes I had prepared 4 baby bottles, cooked Dave an egg and toasted English muffin sandwich and prepared him to-go coffee.  This is all thanks to our super-duper egg toaster, which will cook an egg while toasting bread, our one-cup coffee maker, and our trusty bottle warmer, which can warm multiple baby bottles back to back.

I then sprinted for the nursery where I gathered both screamers up and began feeding them at the same time while shouting at Dave, “don’t forget your lunch!” followed by “don’t forget mayonnaise!!” followed by “get your coffee!!!”

About an hour later, I had managed to get both kids fed, changed, and dressed, the cats and dogs fed, and myself showered, dressed and ready for the day.  I packed up the kids and we drove over to the day care to get them settled.   Right away the women in their infant classroom grabbed them up and began loving them while another teacher helped me unpack the diapers, clothes, blankets, etc.  They got happily settled, I grabbed my purse, and headed out the door.

As I walked across the parking lot towards my car, I barely restrained my urge to charge towards the car while pumping my arm in the air and yelling, “FREEDOM!” Braveheart style.  I absolutely love being with and caring for Audrey and Andrew.  And I absolutely love a few hours of downtime.   I wish I could say that I went home and slept, but unfortunately, I ran errands and then did household chores.  As my mother likes to say, “a woman’s work is never done.”  I always cringe a little bit when she says this and then I decide that she is absolutely right.

In the end, their first day of day care was a smooth success for all involved and we will return most days this week.

Here is our first family picture together that Dave’s parents took late last week:

First family picture

Today the twins are six weeks old.  I spent some time today reflecting on the past six weeks, how much Andrew and Audrey have changed, and how much we’ve learned together as a family.  One of the most touching things about this time in our lives has been the incredible love, support, and true kindness that we’ve received from our family, our friends, our church, and our community.  I have been blown away by the amount of care that we’ve been blessed to receive.

In the days immediately following the birth, we received many visitors at the hospital.  Members of our church came to pray with us, our family and closest friends came to meet the twins and to assist me in getting around after surgery.  When I went back to the hospital with an infection 10 days later, our dear friends pampered Dave with home cooked meals, cleaned our house, and stocked our cabinets and freezer with food.

My mom arrived two weeks after the birth and she was able to stay with us for about 3 weeks.  She was an incredible help with baby care and with knocking out a lot of the tasks that I was unable to do during pregnancy.  She scrubbed our shower, weeded our flower beds, cleaned out our refrigerator, scrubbed the floors, and organized our closets and cabinets, did the laundry, dishes, etc.  She also helped with almost all of the twins’ feedings and diaper changes, except for during the middle of the night.  Because of her help, Dave was able to teach during the first week of school, which was a goal of ours.   My dad was also visiting for the last week or so of her stay.  He decided that diaper changes were not his thing, but he was very helpful with running errands, holding and comforting crying babies, and preparing meals.   My parents had an adorable porcelain plate customized for the birth of the twins and my dad brought it when he arrived.  It shows their names and birth weights and is now proudly on display in our nursery.

Porcelain plate that my parents customized for Andrew and Audrey

Dave’s parents arrived a day after my parents left and are with us for a week.  Their help has also been wonderful, as they assist with feedings and diaper changes as well.  Dave’s father has been knocking himself out with all kinds of outdoor help such as weeding, trimming, repairing gates, and installing a diaper sprayer for us.  It would have taken us months to get these things done on our own due to lack of time.  Dave’s mother provided us with two handmade blankets that she spent a few months making for the twins.  Although I’m not very artsy-craftsy myself, I truly appreciate handmade gifts, and these blankets are beautiful.

Beautiful blankets made by Dave’s mother

Our church has been absolutely wonderful.  In addition to throwing us a shower and praying for us before and during the birth, and visiting us afterwards in the hospital, they provided 6 WEEKS of meals to us 3 times a week so that we did not have to think about cooking.  When I say meals, I do not mean simply a casserole.  They provided bread, salad, casseroles, fruit, dessert, and sometimes even breakfast for the next day!  It was beyond wonderful.

Our friends have also delivered meals on the days that the church did not.  They have showered us with clothes, books, handmade toys, food, and have made a point to check on us every couple of days to see if they can pick up anything for us at the store, or just come over and sit so that we can take a shower or a nap.

Toys crocheted by our niece for Andrew and Audrey

We have received well wishes and gifts from all over the country, from our more distant relatives, friends of our parents, and coworkers from my company’s St. Louis office location.   Much of it has been unexpected and so touching.

I know that having a baby is a life-changing event, but I truly did not expect such an outpouring of love from all facets of our life.  I don’t even know how to adequately express thanks, except to say that we are amazed and so appreciative of each and every bit of it.

Thank you, all!