When you are obviously pregnant and are out in public, people cannot resist asking you questions, telling birth stories, and providing unsolicited parenting advice. Most of this I find highly amusing. Here are some of the good ones:

1. Is your baby jumping in your belly when the airplane takes off?
I travel a lot for my job, so I find myself interacting with complete strangers in public quite a bit. This particular person proceeded to tell me about how her baby actually used its legs to JUMP inside her during takeoff because it was quite angry about flying and wanted to jump out. She was dead serious. My response was “wow…that’s incredible.” Because really, it is.

2. Do they actually rent cars to pregnant people?
You know, I never actually checked the terms and conditions of that rental agreement. Hmm.

3. Are you going to the prom pregnant like that?
I think this person was trying to make a joke because I look young. But I’m really not sure. I told him that no, I was probably going to skip it because the dress I wanted to wear is too tight now.

4. Will your twins be the same age?
I patiently answer yes and secretly wonder what exactly these people think twins actually are?

5. You are having girls because you are carrying them in the front of your body.
As opposed to the side of my body?

6. Will you use your nipples to breastfeed?
Um….well, that seems like the best idea I’ve come up with so far. Any other suggestions?

7. Are your twins natural?
No, they are SUPER natural!
Honestly, this question I find more shockingly rude than amusing. I think that because we are having twins, these people are trying to ask whether we’ve undergone fertility treatment. My answer usually is that I’m not comfortable discussing my sex life and the conception details of my children. Then I have to wait it out through the awkward pause that inevitably follows.

8. When is your due date? Today?
I’ve been getting this one lately since my belly is so big. I think these people are really fearful that I’m about to give birth in their store, restaurant, or gas station. It is kind of fun to give them a date several months away.

And, a quick update for those who want it:  the birth is scheduled for 37 weeks, on Aug 6, if it doesn’t happen on its own before that.  We do not know yet whether it will be a regular delivery or cesarean delivery.  We do not know the genders of the twins or whether they are fraternal or identical.  We also do not have names picked out and will be waiting until after the birth to name them.  We might have Kate and Will beat for being shrouded in birth mystery!