On January 10, I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was a day filled with kind words, friends, beer, sushi, and quality time with my husband and babies. My kind of day!
During that day, I also spent some time reflecting on the past year. What an incredible year in so many ways! It has been a wonderful year of personal growth, love, and joy. One of the best gifts on earth has been the gift of motherhood. It’s a beautiful thing every single day and I’ve learned so much about myself.
As I was driving the other day, I heard a commercial on the radio for a cosmetic dentistry business. It reminded me of my own front teeth, which now have a noticeable gap that has appeared in the past 10 years. I’ve often thought about having it corrected, but every time I think about doing it, I decide that its part of who I am and I should leave it alone. However, I’ve felt a bit of mild insecurity about it in the past and have been known to avoid smiling because of it.
Recently I’ve been smiling a lot. I smile at Andrew and Audrey constantly. They are funny and do funny things, which make me smile. And, if you smile at them, they smile right back, which is so much fun. I smile all day long, and it feels great. When I heard that commercial on the radio, I realized that I haven’t thought about the gap in my teeth in months. It has simply stopped bothering me.
Until I became a mother, I focused a lot more on my imperfections. I have a gap in my teeth, I’m slightly overweight, my house is not perfectly clean at every second of the day, I don’t walk the dog enough, I’m not good at crafts, I could work harder, etc. I’m actually a pretty positive person most of the time, but I was previously setting my standards at perfection and of course never living up to it. I always felt guilty about something. Motherhood has taught me to relax. I’m not perfect and that’s ok. To Audrey and Andrew, I am the most beautiful person on earth. My body is at the heaviest weight ever (except for when I was pregnant), but I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt before. I feel confident and happy in my own skin. I will try to lose some weight in 2014 because it’s the healthy thing to do, but I’m not so hard on myself anymore. It will work itself out in time. In the meantime, I’m going to keep on smiling!