I recently read a blog post that was written by a woman about her mother. It was titled When Your Mother Says She’s Fat and was about a mother who believed that she was “fat, ugly, and horrible.” The daughter went on to describe how it made her feel when her mother said these things about herself and how because of this example in her life, she carried on with her own insecurities about herself.
I found this writer’s story kind of surprising because it is so completely opposite of the life experience I have had with my own mother. Let me start by saying that my mom is TOUGH. She is not tough in a rough, biker chick sort of way. She is tough in that when she sets her mind on something, she radiates pure strength from start to finish. No whining, no complaining. Just suck it up and do it. And, of course, she makes things look easy in the process.
When I was two years old, my mom decided to go back to school to finish her college degree. She went to meet with an advisor, whose advice was that there was no way she could manage the difficult curriculum with a two year old at home. Her response? “WATCH ME.” She successfully completed it two years later to earn her bachelors degree with honors.
Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I watched her begin and maintain a successful career in microbiology, start running, qualify for and run the Boston Marathon, take ballroom dancing lessons, learn to play the hammered dulcimer with no prior musical background, and ride the MS150. She went caving, hiking, backpacking, biking, and traveling. She was stubborn, independent, and strong. Sometimes she had a bit of anxiety about trying something new, but it never stopped her from succeeding. I don’t remember her ever truly doubting herself.
The confidence that she exudes has been priceless for me and has shaped me into who I am today. There have been many people at different times in my life who have doubted my abilities, who have told me I am crazy or I couldn’t or shouldn’t do something because it would be too difficult. Sometimes those voices have been painfully discouraging. But, always, at the back of my mind is the little voice, HER voice, saying WATCH ME. I listen to it, and it doesn’t ever let me down. I accomplish the things I want to accomplish.
Being a role model of self-confidence is one of the best gifts a mother can give to her child. I am so thankful that I have had this example in my life. As I am about to embark on my own journey of motherhood, I hope that I will be strong enough to follow her lead. She set the bar pretty high. But I would love nothing more than to give my children their own version of WATCH ME to sustain them with confidence and encouragement throughout their many endeavors in life.
What an amazing experience to have you as my daughter. I’m looking forward to many more years sharing the joys of your motherhood.